On Mental Thirst

Sometimes, one's mind becomes thirsty, a kind of thirst never before felt or experienced; you roam around aimlessly trying to find that unknown quencher of your mental thirst, you prescribe your own medicines for your emerging malady and try them all, you go about your days and nights in an "auto pilot" mode, almost mechanically functioning around your daily duties.

You find small islands of distractions..and you entertain the idea of co-existence with that chronic thirst, but with every audible assertion of your continuity called a heartbeat, your mind's longing for that unknown grows, it is fed with the instinctive power of discovery embedded in your genes, your eyes capture pictures of the faces..and places around, your ears capture sounds, they scan the space around you for a sign of familiarity..strange how you seek familiarity in something not known.

Mental thirst might be an inner estrangement, when you question your own list of checks and balances, an attempt to overhaul your being, upgrade your system of comprehension, it is as close to winter hibernation as the human race can come, staying still..in anticipation of change, and change is the only constant.

You know, that when the paths cross, finally..when time and place conspire with you, against you to bring you, and your mind quencher together, when you find it..or it finds you, when that last leaf finally falls off that tree, you know that your instinct was right, your mental thirst was justified, and the discovery was worth the wait.

On Things..And How They Seem

I've been away for a while, and I thank all those who checked on me, but one thing I admit..is that I'm not much of a blogger, probably a seasonal one, depending on the season in mind, rather than in setting.

One of the things I've been contemplating for a while is the way things..and sometimes people seem to be -that can be both negative and positive- and the way they really are. There's a certain wisdom in discovery, and discovery sometimes reaches surprising results..much like the surprise Columbus found when he thought he reached India when in fact he reached the new world; accidents can change destinies, or at least alter our perception of something we thought is cemented in our mind to be something else.

I might be talking in riddles, but that's probably the point; obscurity sometimes seems to be fascinating, or frustrating...depending on the journey, but within its walls..when you look closely..if you take the time to look closely..lies the clearest of all messages.

I'm in a Calendar!

Well..not that kind of Calendar, maybe next year..but returnig to this one, around six or seven months ago..I came across something called The One Million Masterpiece project, which is basically one large image of a million drawings made by people around the world online, so being the Global Citizen I am, I went ahead and drew the flag of Jordan.

Yesterday, I got an email telling me that my drawing was chosen among 1800 drawings to be made into a 2008 calendar, they made up themes for each month, and the theme for March is United Nations, and yours truely secured Jordan's representation in the visual UN, with one afternoon in the office doodle.

Congratulations.

p.s: I've pointed out the drawing's position in red for your comfort.

Thirty Six..

خلاكَ الذم يا وصفي رماحي غيرُ مسنونة

ودربُ الحُر يا وصفي كَدربِك غيرُ مأمونة

A Recap of Sorts

So I've been abstaining from blogging for almost a month, and today..I decided to break the silence and speak..actually type, about the things I saw and heard in the past month or so.

First of all, I turned 32, one day before the 90th anniversary of the Balfour Declaration "Happy Anniversary", 28 days before the 60th anniversary of the partition of Palestine, again..Happy Anniversary, and 19 days before the Parliamentary Elections in Jordan..Bon Appetite and a very Merry 50JDs, or more..depending on shatartak.

Tayeb, The weather in London has been extremely bad, raining all the time..so Gene Kelly would've really relished the opportunity to really..Sing in The Rain, if it wasn't for his current disposition.

The other day, I watched a BBC documentary, -one of the signs of a healthy media- on the orphans in an Eastern European country, the programme was very disturbing, yet..to me, it was a real journey within, a journey within the human soul...or there lack of, the children were left for days, without human interaction or attention, as if their destitution and solitude weren't enough, leading them to literal insanity and short lives. Man can be a beast, I almost felt guilty watching them, and have no idea how their "care-takers" could look the reporter in the eye and claim that those children were in good care, Lying is one thing, but lying and believing it takes practice!

Hyde Park is nice these days..it always is, but this time of the year has its magic, the trees are changing their coats and preparing for the mascarade of autumn, some are red, some yellow, others are bright orange, The ever brave squirrels still venture around the green pastures, and a certain one looked at me the other day as if he knew me, but despite my vigorous attempt at recalling his acquaintance..it didn't ring a bell..or crack a nut for that matter, I might have been a squirrel in a past lifetime, or he/she was a human, who knows..we both might have been something else altogether!

I dreamt of Eve the other night, she visited me in my slumber, a more intimate setting than sobriety, she looked nice..as always, she smelt nice..as always; who knew one could dream of scents! She held my hand, and my temperature rose by 1.7 degrees or so, the best fever you can ever get is the one you get from a sublime world.

Published Confessions!

The Confessions of this Vegetarian Shark are now on Paper, thanks to the marvel of self publishing, nothing beats a book with your name on it!

you can find it here: http://www.lulu.com/content/1353756 AND http://www.lulu.com/content/1355623

Check it out, review it, rank it, toss it around..and if you have some extra cash...buy it! and yes..spread the word..lets see if this thing really works!

The Return From Within

I have to start this post by apologizing to everyone who came..knocked and found no answer, as I've been "Internet-less" by choice for more than a month.

I've been to Amman, and when a lover meets his loved one, the whole world seizes to exist..this is probably an extremely lame comment you might think, and I might agree..to an extent, but sometimes..you tend to want to be alone with a city, a whole city..with all her details corresponding with your own details; she notices the new grey hairs you didn't have when you left her and went West, and you notice..yet again, her drought, the very same drought you thought you knew before you left, the very same drought you wanted not to find when you went back; the drought of souls is even more painful than that of minds, minds can be revived, souls..are as delicate as the strings of a harp, and the sound they make is either tender like a choir of angels or they never give more than a hollow vibration into space..an empty hiss.

There's a book called طبائع الإستبداد "The Manners of Dictatorship" by an enlightened Arab called Abdul Rahman Al Kawakibi, and if I could borrow the title..and a little bit more, I'd describe Amman as a ruthless dictator, one losing her charisma, her appeal, her tender smile, and yet..her subjects remain loyal and drunken with her love, even when her only remaining appeal is her name, even if she is made to wear a million masks upon another million masks, even if her soul is barren..her people are in transit, looking and feeling like strangers..to her, and to their own selves.

She remains the Queen, and now that she's left..East, as I left West, she is missed, and her smile; the one I didn't find when I went to see her, endures.

يمـوتُ الهــوى منــّي إذا ما لقـيتُها

ويحيا إذا فارقتـُـها فيعــودُ